Life

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

DIY Shrunken Head - Great For Valentine's Day!

So Valentines Day is just a few days from now and you're thinking: "I want to make my lady something special that she'll remember. Something romantic and sweet... I know! I'll make her a shrunken head!"

Ah, you slick fox. You're one smooth man, you know that you can get any lady you want. And this is your lucky day, I have just the instructable for your next catch or your current jog. Here's an easy cost effective way to woo this special lady of yours. Follow me and I'll teach you how to create a shrunken head without having to visit your local morgue, prison, city hall, or anywhere else heads may be rolling.

First, find a willing partner; if you want to give her your head on a plate (think surrounded by red rose petals) you'll need your partner to do some very uncomfortable things to you, so get ready to get close to your friends.

My willing partner was mike, you'll see him below, we helped each other make the other persons face.



Step 1: Get Materials. Get Secluded. Make Mold.

You'll pretty much need to be left alone for the next few hours because any interruptions are going to disrupt the process and create for a jibbley mold. Also, you'll look like some kind of freak with a gobliny white face

Materials Needed:
Moulage: http://www.dickblick.com/zz335/11/
A pot
Straws
A spoon

All together this should set you back 13$


Now take your moulage and on a low heat setting on your oven heat it up till it liquefies.

Take it off the oven and let it cool down a bit. Only a bit.

Hand your partner a pen and a pencil and two straws. Take a spoon and dab a little bit on his face. If he looks like he's about to cry... put more. You want to put it on in thin layers, so cover the entire face with the first layer, all except the nostrils and ear holes of course.



Step 2: Strenghten The Mold

Here is where you strengthen the mold by adding many layers of moulage. Once the initial burn is over and his face is coated with a thin layer of the warm goop. Go over it again and again, it'll hurt less and will get thicker over time. Avoid the nostrils till you've accumulated a good thickness.

Once you've reached the nostrils, insert straws into your partner’s nose and goop a whole load onto the nose, this is a weak part of the mold because of the need to breathe out of it. So make sure to put enough.

Try to find straws that fit the nose fully, so get McDonalds straws(I don't eat there, but they like you to guzzle your food and have wide straws), Wendy's straws are a bit thinner.

When you have about 1/2" of moulage layers on your partners face, let him wait and feel the stuff ooze into his ears. This is when the pencil and paper come in handy so your partner can let you know if he's suffocating or what.




Step 3: Toughen Up, Foo!


If you have any left over moulage, just goop the rest onto the layers you made. This will just create a thick layer that will strengthen the mold.

Another way to strengthen the mold is to use wire mesh, something like from a screen window will do well.




Step 4: Remove, Distort, Cast, Distort

Now that you've waited for the moulage to cool, and your partner is freaking out deaf dumb blind for a few minuets you should carefully peel the moulage mask off your partners face and set it on something face shaped, like a hat.

Now that you have your face mold, you can cast it with plaster of paris. But you want a shrunken head, so cast a few, and let the moulage dry out a bit, crunch it, twist it and let it dry, and then cast it. Basically it's like silly putty and you can control the way it drys so you can get all sorts of deathly faces.





Step 5: Show Your Affections

You may now embellish the castings you've made in anyway you wish. You can paint them, cut them with sanders, shatter them and glue them together, coat them with egg white varnish, or take a high- speed film of you playing baseball with your head.

Now that you've gone through all that pain, you can understand true love. Share your deepest affections to your lover with any presentation of your visage. Let them know how much you care.

-I hope all lovers this season have happy shrunken head filled Valentines Day gifts. -Rich

1 comment:

jaffejoy said...

i am the very "lucky"..wife to this psychotic romantic...the only head gonna be shrunken after this blog is not the one on your shoulders....fyi...diamonds and roses would be a better choice to unshrink your head